dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
