he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
