I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
