Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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