i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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