Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
