I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
