can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Four minutes until I can fart!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
