Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
