what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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