Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I want her autograph on my taint
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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