how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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