Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
