So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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