Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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