I'm so fucking centered right now
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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