he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
