yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
