She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
