i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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