it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
