i need an iv and a liver transplant
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I am morally bankrupt
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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