just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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