In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
