Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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