I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
is it fun? or sober?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
