mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
