i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
