Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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