strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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