Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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