we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
