Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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