i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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