why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
