The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
