Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
is wine microwaveable?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
