whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
