you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
