My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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