I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
