We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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