Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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