I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize