Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
