seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
