thus making me awesome and them whores
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
