No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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