i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
