Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
