just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
