I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
