i would punch a child for taco bell
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
