U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
