ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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