Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
