I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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